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Mar. 15th, 2009 10:45 pmMy grandma has been really sick for a long time now. She's been on oxygen for the past couple years and hasn't been able to walk unassisted for longer. Years of hard living (my family, omg) has finally caught up to her. She's been in and out of the hospital for the past couple months (since her brother Sam died right after Christmas) and on Friday my Aunt Vicky told us all that Grandma was back in the hospital and probably wasn't coming out this time.
Today, me, RT, Kristina, and my dad rode up there. (The hospital she's in is a little over an hour away from here, but we had to go the long way around b/c the main road is closed. There's a boulder on the side of the rockfaces that appears to be about to fall so the road is closed until VDOT crews can get in there and remove it or chain it up or whatever they're going to do. And yes, I'm serious. There are several huge rocks that are CHAINED to the side of the mountain to keep them in place. And we had to go about thirty miles out of the way to get to Clifton Forge, which is better than the alternative which was a good fifty miles out of the way.) When we got there, Aunt Vicky pulled us aside and said that Grandma had made the decision to have the machines be cut off and to go on comfort care (these are her words, not the technical ones) because she is tired of suffering. So it's only a matter of time until she's walking on the streets of gold with Jesus, able to breath easily again, and reunited with our loved ones. (Huge family = a lot of people waiting on us in Heaven)
She is perfectly lucid (my other grandmother had Alzheimers and didn't know anyone for the last couple years of her life -- it was very hard) and wanted to say her goodbyes, so we were all making calls and tracking down cousins and whatnot. Nearly everyone was at the hospital at one point or another today. At one time this afternoon, there were 32 of us gathered in her room/the hallway/the waiting area a couple doors down. :) I was almost expecting the nursing staff to shoo us off or something, but I think all of them know our family and we weren't bothering anyone. We all sat with Grandma for a little while, and there were lots of "I love yous" and prayers and hugs and tears. She has a hard time talking, but she does manage, and she told me to make sure to tell the boys that she loves them and she said she'll be sure to hold "our baby" for me. (I think that's one of the reasons I'm not as upset as I probably should be -- I'm losing my grandma, but my baby girl is getting another grandmother to dote over her in Heaven.)
Tim is still at the hospital now. He doesn't have kids or a parent to take care of at home (Two of my aunts had to have one of their kids go home with them. My Aunt Shirley -- aka MaeMae -- had several anxiety attacks today and was popping Xanax like they were M&Ms, so Kim & her kids went home with her. My Aunt Nita had a mild heart attack this afternoon and so her son Joey is staying with her.) so he's staying with Aunt Vicky and Aunt Lettie. He's supposed to let me know when anything changes. (I took the phone into the bathroom with me when I was getting a bath, just in case he called or whatever, and he sent me a text so my heart was racing and stuff until I opened it. It said: "Pete Wentz is gonna be on csi ny wed". My brother, seriously. I love him.)
I am going to cry like a baby and miss her a whole fucking lot, but at least she won't be suffering anymore. And my grandma had a good life. She buried three husbands. She had 9 kids, 22 grandkids, and 23 great grandkids. Two of her kids and one of her great grandkids are waiting for her, along with her three brothers. And that doesn't even take into consideration the inlaws, the close family friends, and everyone who called her MawMaw b/c she's been a grandmother to a lot more than just her biological family.
But for now it's just a waiting game and I feel like I'm in a state of limbo. I love you, Grandma!
Today, me, RT, Kristina, and my dad rode up there. (The hospital she's in is a little over an hour away from here, but we had to go the long way around b/c the main road is closed. There's a boulder on the side of the rockfaces that appears to be about to fall so the road is closed until VDOT crews can get in there and remove it or chain it up or whatever they're going to do. And yes, I'm serious. There are several huge rocks that are CHAINED to the side of the mountain to keep them in place. And we had to go about thirty miles out of the way to get to Clifton Forge, which is better than the alternative which was a good fifty miles out of the way.) When we got there, Aunt Vicky pulled us aside and said that Grandma had made the decision to have the machines be cut off and to go on comfort care (these are her words, not the technical ones) because she is tired of suffering. So it's only a matter of time until she's walking on the streets of gold with Jesus, able to breath easily again, and reunited with our loved ones. (Huge family = a lot of people waiting on us in Heaven)
She is perfectly lucid (my other grandmother had Alzheimers and didn't know anyone for the last couple years of her life -- it was very hard) and wanted to say her goodbyes, so we were all making calls and tracking down cousins and whatnot. Nearly everyone was at the hospital at one point or another today. At one time this afternoon, there were 32 of us gathered in her room/the hallway/the waiting area a couple doors down. :) I was almost expecting the nursing staff to shoo us off or something, but I think all of them know our family and we weren't bothering anyone. We all sat with Grandma for a little while, and there were lots of "I love yous" and prayers and hugs and tears. She has a hard time talking, but she does manage, and she told me to make sure to tell the boys that she loves them and she said she'll be sure to hold "our baby" for me. (I think that's one of the reasons I'm not as upset as I probably should be -- I'm losing my grandma, but my baby girl is getting another grandmother to dote over her in Heaven.)
Tim is still at the hospital now. He doesn't have kids or a parent to take care of at home (Two of my aunts had to have one of their kids go home with them. My Aunt Shirley -- aka MaeMae -- had several anxiety attacks today and was popping Xanax like they were M&Ms, so Kim & her kids went home with her. My Aunt Nita had a mild heart attack this afternoon and so her son Joey is staying with her.) so he's staying with Aunt Vicky and Aunt Lettie. He's supposed to let me know when anything changes. (I took the phone into the bathroom with me when I was getting a bath, just in case he called or whatever, and he sent me a text so my heart was racing and stuff until I opened it. It said: "Pete Wentz is gonna be on csi ny wed". My brother, seriously. I love him.)
I am going to cry like a baby and miss her a whole fucking lot, but at least she won't be suffering anymore. And my grandma had a good life. She buried three husbands. She had 9 kids, 22 grandkids, and 23 great grandkids. Two of her kids and one of her great grandkids are waiting for her, along with her three brothers. And that doesn't even take into consideration the inlaws, the close family friends, and everyone who called her MawMaw b/c she's been a grandmother to a lot more than just her biological family.
But for now it's just a waiting game and I feel like I'm in a state of limbo. I love you, Grandma!
