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[why_me_why_not]

I can't sleep even though I'm ridiculously tired (sidenote: I've had awesome dreams this past week or so, so sleep isn't my enemy right now. Idk whether to be amazed or worried about what it means for the future.), I have more than a week of LJ to try and catch up on, I owe fic to several people, my phone is still in the other room charging (don't ask why I didn't just bring it out here to charge; that would make too much sense!), and whinewhinewhine! Yeah, I really don't mean to whine. Instead, I'm going to procrastinate! Meme stolen from several people on my flist.

ten things I wish I could say to ten different people on LJ (don't use names):

1. Really, if you're that unhappy, quit fucking whining and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.
2. Thank you for being there.
3. I feel worse about wanting to ignore you than actually doing so.
4. I told you this would end badly.
5. I wasn't kidding when I offered to hook you up with a job if you wanted to move here.
6. I always think you're humoring me when you tell me you like what I write.
7. I'm sorry for forcing my friendship on you.
8. Some call it stalking, I call it love.
9. I wish you lived closer b/c our kids would cause so much trouble together.
10. Not everything is about you.

nine things about myself:

1. I still feel awkward starting a conversation with someone I've been friends with for YEARS.
2. I really, really want a tattoo, but I could never get one b/c I hate the idea of a stranger touching me.
3. I sing along with the radio in the car, loudly and very badly, and change the station (or skip to the next track) before the song is over.
4. I honestly don't get why people think they have to be part of a couple to be happy?
5. I love loud four wheel drives, mudbogs, and bonfires.
6. Random facts and pictures amuse the heck out of me.
7. I am never on time to anything, anywhere. EVER.
8. I prefer words to pictures.
9. I'm more comfortable feeling needed than loved.

eight ways to win my heart:

1. do something nice for someone else
2. compliment my kids
3. cook for me :)
4. read to me / sing to me
5. remember the days
6. make me laugh
7. tell me a story (real or not)
8. apparently I'm easy? Or really hard? b/c honestly, if you talk to me, I'm happy. But idk that anyone, other than the two brats sleeping in the next room, would ever have my heart.

seven things that cross my mind a lot:

1. What the flippers?
2. Who you gonna call? WINCHESTERS! (really, it's ridiculous how often I think this)
3. Wait, I'm a grownup? (sometimes, I substitute "soccer mom" for "grown up")
4. Fuck this shit, I'm moving to Texas!
5. I have no idea where we're going to get the money for this.
6. What can I do to help?
7. Who can I txt this to?

six things I do before I fall asleep:

1. check on the boys
2. say my prayers
3. rearrange the pillows a gazillion times
4. check my phone one last time
5. make sure my alarm is set (usually do this more than once. not that it matters b/c I'm still gonna hit snooze a couple times and get up late)
6. this isn't necessarily something I do before I fall asleep, but yall remember that episode of SPN, maybe third season or so, where Sammy is asleep in the backseat of the Impala and Dean wakes him up and Sam has one hand tucked inside his pants? It amused the heck out of me b/c I totally sleep with one hand tucked into my pants. Yeah, idek.

five people who mean a lot:

1. Ronnie
2. Davey
3. Kelly Marie
4. Harley
5. Illiana (whatever, she totally counts as a people even if she isn't technically here yet!)

four things you're wearing right now:

1. black pj pants
2. grey pj top
3. um... pink panties?
4. srsly, yall, I have nothing else on. I've even taken the scrunchie out of my hair and my ring off my finger. Oh, I guess my glasses count though.

three songs that you listen to often:

the Phineas & Ferb theme song
1. The Used's Born to Quit (b/c it's my ringtone right now, and also b/c my ipod shuffle seems to like it?)
2. Restless Heart's Big Dreams in a Small Town
3. Panic's Northern Downpour (whatever, it's one of my happy songs, ok?)
(runner up would be Doobie Brother's Black Water or the Allman Brothers I'm No Angel. fyi.)

two things you want to do before you die:

1. figure out how to follow through / finish things
2. take my kids to visit awesome places / show them there's a whole wide world outside this valley

one confession: I'm afraid that even though I know all the things my ex said (says) about me are bullshit, I'll never actually believe it.

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[why-me-why-not.livejournal.com]

I love Phineas and Ferb. I may have the soundtrack on my ipod, but don't tell anyone.