always been crazy

We went to a Kiwanis Pancake Breakfast fundraiser thing this morning, and I ran into one of my friends from UHG. She's a very very sweet older lady, and I'm glad I got to see her. She was telling me about how bad things have gotten there, which I already knew but still sucks. But she did say something else that really made my day. When I was working there, especially when I was doing floor support, I always went out of my way to be sure that good agents got some type of recognition. We had some really excellent customer service reps, ones who actually cared about our members and committed to actually helping them. The supervisors basically ignored agents except to fuss about stats, and our quality agents - well, our quality department was outsourced to India, which I have issues with anyway just because it's a federal government program, and most of the quality agents speak English as a second language. Our reps from India that were doing correspondence I actually loved, because even though there were only a handful of them, they were quick and efficient, but correspondence was a lot of copy and paste. The quality agents use copy and paste too, but as a way to leave comments on evaluations. If the agents don't follow word-for-word and in-order the script that Quality has been given, they get deducted points. (some of it is so stupid. the two areas I always got dinged on were acknowledgment statements and email addresses. we were supposed to answer with "how may I help you" and after the caller states their issue make a statement like "I'll be happy to help you with that." But if a member first thing gives me their member number, I'd verify hipaa and pull the account up before asking again, something like "okay, I do have your information, what can I do for you today?" Instead, what they want us to do is tell the member something like "I'll be happy to verify your information and assist you, but first can I ask why you're calling?" and then you have no acct info, or if you do have the acct up you can't release anything because hipaa hasn't been verified, and it's stupid. And asking people for their email address - if I'm talking to a 92 year old woman who has hearing and vision problems, I'm not going to ask for their email address. That's stupid, and to me inconsiderate.) Point is, there is very little to no positive recognition. So for people I caught providing excellent customer service, I'd give them big stars for their desk (like certificate stars with their name on it, saying they are a star at blahblahblah), and for people who were getting discouraged, I'd leave them notes or cards on their desk. Yeah, I know I say I hate everyone, but my actions don't hold to that sometimes.

anyway, Rayette said that there are some days where she gets so frustrated that she wants to walk out, and that the cards I gave her are hanging up on her desk and she reads them for encouragement. And she almost started crying telling me about how much it meant to her that I had done that for her, which almost made ME start crying. It's nice to know I have a positive influence like that on someone's life.

also? my baby brother introduced us to his new girlfriend today. she's a single mom with 3 kids. I kinda wasn't expecting that from him, but I guess I should have been. my brothers are awesome.

Ugh. I'm posting this here so I don't post it as a note on facebook, lol, even though I'm really tempted to. Just as a bit of background, my niece (who is 19) just had a baby (born on Friday) and I'm happy for her because babies are always a cause for celebration and I congratulated her and was very pointed in my congratulations to send my love to her and Parker but not to include the baby's father. Because the baby's father, who Chantell is now engaged to, is my ex-husband's best friend (who is 35 or 36, and was always around when Chantell was growing up, and was "Uncle Gary" when she was spending summers with me and my ex, and has teenage kids of his own), and I have major issues with that. Well, Stephanie, Gary's ex, who I am and always have been friends with, made a post on facebook the other day that basically said that she didn't give a fuck about her ex's gf having her baby and I liked the comment, because I can totally agree with not giving a fuck about your ex's new life. So obviously that started drama because my ex's family is full of drama and there was facebook stalking and rumors and blahblahblah. So, this is what I almost just posted on facebook:

Those of you who know me (the ones who actually know me; not the ones who think they know something about me because they knew me ten years ago) know that one of the things I hate and find laughable is drama, especially high-school level drama and even more especially the kind that hides in secret - he said / she said, messages and phone conversations that are misinterpreted, all that nonsense. So, since I unwittingly started some drama, I'm putting it out there in the open because I'm too old to play silly games, and because I don't have the time to be doing all this back and forth messaging bullshit.

I know yall saw my post on Saturday congratulating my niece Chantell on the birth of her baby. Yall also know my feelings on babies, that they're a blessing and a cause for celebration no matter what the circumstances. I am truly happy for Chantell and Parker, and I wish them nothing but happiness. And even though I haven't seen Chantell in the past 8 years or so, I still and always will love her and wish the best of everything for her. In my heart, she will always be my niece.

On that same day, my friend Stephanie, who I have been actual friends with for a long time and who I wouldn't magically stop considering to be a friend just because Chantell's baby's daddy is Stephanie's ex-husband, made a post on her FB page that said For the people who think i care that my ex's gf had her baby. You dont know the enormity of the f@ck i do not give. The only thing i care about is the three kids i have that he isnt doing shit for. Thank you and have a nice day.... And I totally "liked" that comment. We all have that person in our past that we don't want to hear about, and we all have so-called friends who insist on telling us about the details of that person's life. Because the world is one giant high school that thrives on drama.

So this morning I get this message from Chantell: "So, I just looked on Stephanie, Garys ex's page, and seen that u liked her comment about her not giving a fuck about me having my baby??? Really??? Its extremely funny to me that you can tell me that you love me and tell me how happy you are about me having my baby, and then I see that?! As far as Im concerned, you can kiss my ass just like she can... We are supposed to be family and that is what you do to me? Im glad to see you show your true colors Tabby and I cant wait to tell everyone exactly how you feel about me and my baby!!! Have a great life without me in it!!!"

To which I responded: "Chantell, me liking Steph's comment has nothing to do with you and Parker. It has to do with not giving a fuck about your ex's new life, which is a sentiment I can totally agree with. I am happy for you and wish you and Parker lots of love and happiness and great things. But honestly? If your Uncle Ron had/has another kid? I wouldn't give a fuck either. And it's not just ex's; there are people that are no longer part of your life for whatever reason that you just don't want to hear about. I have a couple former friends that I would feel the same way towards, and I know how irritating it can be when several different people insist on telling you something about someone you no longer want to hear about. So you can interpret it however you want to, but it's not directed at you."

Her response? "thats it tabby... try n make it sound good... lolz you kill me!"

I'm not defending myself, because I didn't do anything that I feel is wrong in any way, and I already explained myself. I'm just putting this out there because, LOLZ, DRAMA ON THE INTRAWEBZ. :P

Driving to the lake was a bad idea, blargh. I have never felt so totally carsick when I was driving.

After I picked the boys up, I told them I had a headache and Davey asked if I had "pegleg." I had no idea what he was talking about and he goes "you know, that thing you get when you get bit by a rat." Apparently he meant "the plague" because that's what I said last time I was really sick. When I told him no, I didn't have the plague, he said "well then did your brain get loose & shake around in your head?" Where does he get this nonsense??

I was also behind a truck today that had a license plate that said N8Z HO. Seriously. I wanted to take a pic but my camera phone doesn't take very good pictures.

I am so ready for summer time! I wanna be able to hang at the lake and chill on the boat and just relax and enjoy the outdoors. And every time this damn song comes on, it makes me want it more: Roll With It - Easton Corbin. You can kick back baby and dance in your socks / On the windshield to some radio rock

My daddy made me a valentine. Out of a beer box.

( hearts )

Yes, my daddy is an alcoholic, why do you ask?

Speaking of Valentines Day: (from Soldiers' Angels) for a soldier wondering if America remembers, there’s nothing like being able to put a face to the name of a supportive American back home. Now thanks to FREE photo e-cards from PhotoCardsDirect.com, you can ensure the motto ‘May No Soldier Go Unloved’ becomes a reality this Valentine’s Day! And for every 10 cards created, Soldiers’ Angels will receive $1 toward care packages for deployed military personnel!

Visit http://www.photocardsdirect.com/soldiersangels to send a greeting to a hero!

The free Valentine’s Day e-cards can be sent to anyone with an email address. If you don’t have the email address of a service member, send your card to Valentines2011@soldiersangels.org and we will pass the Valentine to a hero who needs a boost.

If half your heart is in Iraq or Afghanistan this Valentine’s Day, you can bridge that gap and make it whole for a moment with an e-card. With just a couple of mouse clicks, every patriotic American can let the troops know how much they are loved and appreciated, that they are not forgotten.

Visit http://www.photocardsdirect.com/soldiersangels to send a greeting to a hero!

Join us in helping ensure our deployed heroes know how much America loves and appreciates them all!

Wow, it's already 2 days into the new year and I'm already behind! Lol. I started this on NYE? It's my 2010 in review. I'm gonna try to make another post about what I'm looking forward to / anticipating / hoping for in 2011, but I have to work 12 hrs tomorrow (later today, w/e) so I need to go to sleep now. *smooches*

JANUARY 2010

* Mom turned 50 and we planned a big surprise party for her. We had her convinced that everyone forgot her birthday, but we had relatives coming in from out of town and all this stuff - then we got a foot of snow and everything was ruined.

FEBRUARY 2010

* Kidnapped Amy and went to Atlantic City for a weekend. It was her birthday weekend & Valentine's Day & Cliff was at boot camp, so we met up with thebunnyknows and went to see The Used and Drive A (and Atreyu). Amy kinda got a crash course in fandom that weekend, lol. At the concert, we met up with valerie_z and one of her friends and sinsense. After, me and Amy and thebunnyknows were gonna hang around and get Cliff a hoodie autographed, and some drunk chick gave sinsense her meet-the-band card, so she stayed with us. And the only thing she had with her to be autographed was a draft of her thesis, which led to an interesting discussion about hemaphroditism (between her and Quinn, who, despite all evidence to the contrary, can actually string words together to make sentences) and to Bert saying "I'd love to wake up one day with a vagina; I'd probably have to take a few days off tour." (Amy says "that happens to me every day!) Also, they were super nice about giving Amy messages to pass along to Cliff (generic "tell him thanks for serving our country"-type messages, but still!). The next day we found a Zoltar machine on the boardwalk, but no one transformed into a 12-year-old. Maybe because we are all already 12 at heart?

* As another show on that same tour, I took Davey to see The Used in Charlotte. He had his shoes autographed, had a discussion with Jepha about Perry the Platapus, and is now buddies forever with Bert McCracken. Also, the band autographed a onesie for Illiana and Quinn drew a little cloud picture on it.

MARCH 2010

* ILLIANA WAS BORN! March 25. Harley was texting me (and others) up til like 7am from the hospital, and I figured I had time to drop the boys off at school and get to the hospital before the baby was born, but I got a call just around 730 saying the baby was here. She is quite possibly my favorite thing about 2010.

APRIL 2010

* I sold my van to the farm. Really, she went to a good home with some Amish family that runs some orchards in Franklin County, but I still cried because I love my van!

* accidentally captained a March of Dimes team at work and raised $5700

MAY 2010

* The official Team Gregory picnic, which was proof that we were the best team in the call center and everyone else was jealous.

* Celebration with my friends and family for my 30th birthday and my brother's 28th birthday.

* Cliff got his assignment and Amy left me, lol. They're stationed in Norfolk, which is kinda good because they're only 5 hrs away, but for Amy is also kinda bad because it means her in-laws visit a lot.

JUNE 2010

* Harley was driving me to the airport and we were in an accident. I had my bag in the floorboard and my feet on top of it, tying my shoes and talking shit with Johnathan, and the next thing I know we're under a Suburban and Harley's climbing over me to get to the baby. I ended up with a concussion and knocking out one of my front teeth, and freaking the fuck out, but I still insisted on going to the airport. I was spending the weekend of my 30th birthday with my friends, dammit! I got wendy and phaballa for my actual birthday (and phaballa's peanut butter pie!), and we saw Shrek Forever After, and I got puppy!snuggles from Max & Val. The next day I got to spend time with snarkyrainbow and talked her into staying to see Cobra with me. As with most shows, we were amused by the fashion disasters and by the parents' reactions to some of the songs. I Fight Dragons was surprisingly entertaining, and Travie and Cobra were unsurprisingly awesome. I can't stand 3oh!3 and was really wtf'ed by the huge stuffed wolves with green laser eyes that were onstage during their set. Met up with irisgirl12000 and went home with her to Houston (and my favorite guest bedroom, lol). Next day went to Hard Rock for lunch and met up with some of the other TX girls (shutyourface! eckerlilas! And other girls I know but whose LJ names I can't remember!) for more Travie and Cobra. We didn't have to suffer through 3oh!3 this time, but there were extra acts in between sets that I really wasn't feeling. (I had a concussion! And by this time I had two black eyes! I wanted to put my head down on the barrier and sleep until there was Gabe in front of me!) Oh, and we ended up with Gabe!crotch in our faces, lol. One of the previous concerts we were at together, it was Pete!crotch. Oh, bandboys. Sunday, I laid on irisgirl12000's couch and cuddled with Dante (my favorite of irisgirl12000's two kitties) and watched the first couple episodes of Generation Kill and wished I didn't have to go to the airport.

* Had to get a CT scan done to make sure I didn't have a skull fracture or internal bleeding or whatnot. (Now, I actually have experience with concussions and head injuries because Ronnie has had 4 concussions and is also a klutz, so I know it's generally a good sign if you do have a knot after a blow to the head.) The drs seemed to think I wasn't any more brain damaged than I had been to begin with. (Although you can still feel the indentation in my forehead where I hit the edge of my shoe.)

* hit up wordsalone for download links for Generation Kill so I could get sucked into that fandom, lol

* participated in Relay for Life on a family team

JULY 2010

* got a new-to-me car! A 2007 Mitsubishi Outlander which I totally love! :)

* spent a couple weekends at the lake and took the boys cliff diving for the first time

* spent a long weekend camping at Steel Bridge with the family - my brother, 4 women, and 9 kids. Haha, he says he's never doing that again. But we had a fucking blast.

* succumbed to depression, due to the effects of the concussion on my crazy meds / my bipolar and also after effects of the concussion itself. Missed half a month of work feeling suicidal and stupid.

* went to Norfolk to spend some time with Amy and Cliff, made friends with another Navy wife named Sarah who is pretty awesome, and went to Warped Tour

AUGUST 2010

* spent EVERY weekend at the lake and seriously contemplated buying a camper at the marina when it came up for sale

* Mom took the kids to the beach for a week, so I got dwnload links for True Blood (which is the ultimate trainwreck of a show) and watched all the episodes there were at that time

* got to hang out with Jessie and Holly, who I miss tremendously, when we went to see my friend Anthony in a drag show

* had a boat party for Team Gregory that was a huge success and solidified our bond right before we all got split up

* Neville was born on August 25th! Pam had a lot of complications and scared me sooooo badly, but it all worked out.

* Andrew-at-work, whose Mom had been sick with cancer for a while, told us his mom passed away - but then we found out that everything he had said was a fucking lie and his mom was alive and well and happily on her honeymoon.

SEPTEMBER 2010

* Back to feeling depressed and suicidal. Had a major breakdown at work because I was going to be moved to a Collections team, but Robbie intervened and got me moved to Correspondence instead

* had our annual end-of-summer/Kelly Marie's birthday picnic, which turned out better than expected

* Taylor won his first race of the season, lol

* missed out on seeing Drive A in Norfolk with Amy & Cliff because I didn't trust myself to make the 5 hour drive alone

* walked in the JDRF walk for possibly the last time - Chrissy goes off to college next year so I don't think we'll have a team next year

* the boys participated in the Marine Mud Run to help raise money for Toys for Tots

OCTOBER 2010

* had a blast at Heritage Day at Camp Bethel

* finally figured out the right combo of meds to feel stable again (just couldn't necessarily afford to pay for them for a while)

* had a karaoke dance party at my brother's house with all the kids for Halloween

* Walked in the American Heart Walk with a team from work

NOVEMBER 2010

* walked in the Veterans' Day Parade with a group from the Soldiers' Angels Organization

* went to see Billy Currington and Carrie Underwood in concert

* got pulled over for speeding and found out the DMV never processed my medical review for the year so my license was technically suspended

* helped my cousin move into her new Habitat House

* moved into my grandparents' old house

* took the kids ice skating for the first time - Davey literally skated circles around me and Ronnie

* the boys got promoted to the Black Belt Club at AFK

* went Black Friday shopping with my brothers on Thanksgiving night and saw a bunch of people I hadn't seen in forever

DECEMBER 2010

* got my license back

* Ronnie turned TEN

* got myself in trouble at work for standing up for my team

* worked a ridiculous amount of overtime

* lots of firsts for Christmas - first one in the new house, first Christmas for Illy and Neville

* Ronnie and Davey earned their purple belts at karate

My day: work sucks. Ran out at lunch time, my car break down on the way back to work. Had to walk about a mile back. Was obviously late. A little later get a txt that my Saturday babysitter can't keep the kids tomorrow. I was at work for 8.75 hrs. My actual time worked? Just under 4 hrs. My last hour and a half I took three calls. But I did get some rambling done in my notebook (a lot of something that would have been an lj post if I had been on the internet, but reading back over it I'm too embarassed to type it up & post it, and a few bits of self-indulgent fictions) and I am almost finished with Shadow Magic. I have like one chapter left. And I love Caius. Anyway, then Mom picked me up & we got pulled over and ticketed for something stupid. THEN. Get home & I HAVE NO INTERNET! Wtf, world. W. T. F.

I did get to see Psych when I got home, which did improve my mood b/c Shawn & Gus are highly amusing. Love it love it love it.

I also love any and all tweets about Brendon Urie. Surprised? Ohh! And all the recaps from the Texas Crew.

The only good thing about working today was that I earned enough for half my plane ticket for Texas. Lol.

My sister is leaving early early tomorrow morning to go to the beach with Johnathan for a week. I'm gonna miss them! Also, Melody? Your bookbag is still in my van, lol. Want it back? It's only been there since the day before school let out in the spring.

Oh, and I may be writing a high school AU involving Steven Smith as a teacher. And The Used. Despite Lesa & Heather's best attempts to stop me when I asked them to, lol.

Last thing: PWTs next month IN MY CITY! Not only that, but scheduled to play at Roanoke College, which is just BLOCKS from me. Yayes!

Email or txt me if you want me! *mwah*