(no subject)

[why_me_why_not]

Spend three hours at the courthouse this afternoon just for them to reschedule the hearing for November because they weren't able to locate my ex to serve him. Um, dumbasses. I didn't even call this hearing, DCSE did, and I could have told you that if you go to his sister's house, which is his address on record, she'll tell you she doesn't know where he is even though he was probably in the back room. Also, trying to garnish his wages isn't going to do anything because HE DOESN'T WORK! *rolls eyes* Seriously, my life would be so much simpler if that car had killed him.

Anywho. I'm still being avoidant! And nonproductive! But I did get about six more boxes of books out of storage, and a couple boxes are full of paperback romance novels from like ten years ago, haha. I have a bad habit of reading the summaries and substituting the names with my current pairing of choice, to see if I like the idea or not (whatever, some of yall do the same thing). So I asked twitter for pairings and I'm gonna pick a random book and give you a summary with that pairing! Class discussion encouraged in comments!

Two people said Clint Barton/Phil Coulson (which, by happy coincidence, is my current favorite pairing too!), and the first book I picked up is called By The Book, so:

Phil Coulson would love nothing more than to have a wild night with his downstairs neighbor, Clint Barton. When he accidentally discovers that Clint's bought a how-to manual on "pleasing" men, he knows a wild night is out of the question! But when Clint asks him for lovemaking lessons, Phil knows he must do his part for all men and make him the best lover ever - and he'll do it by the book...

Embarrassed just doesn't describe how Clint feels when his sexy neighbor sees his first book, Sex for Total Morons. He knows he's a master in the bedroom, but judging by the sudden pitying expression, Phil doesn't. Fortunately for him, Clint isn't about to let this opportunity pass by. Phil's a teacher, so there's no way he'd refuse to teach Clint all the ins and outs of sex!

I also got two Liam/Louis, and I don't know anything about 1D. But fake husbands are always good, right, if we pretend the 1D boys are like five or ten years older? Lol. So, Counterfeit Husband:

It was the only way Liam could protect himself from a lecherous business rival on a luxury cruise. But what "husband" could Liam trust to spend every day - and every night - in skimpy cruise wear and one cramped stateroom? 1-800-HUSBAND was good, but not even Liam could believe the husband they sent would know him better than he knew himself... would be his ex-husband Louis!

(Yes, I totally used to read this stuff, idek.) Um, one more, for now? jackiesjunkie said Beecher/Keller (I have been totally craving an OZ rewatch, thanks for the reminder) and I don't know if I can put their names into one of these because I am quite familiar with that pairing and it just doesn't fit in my head. But we'll try? The Tender Barbarian:

Spinster schoolteacher Tobias Beecher was a bit old-fashioned and quite demure - until Chris Keller roared into his life on his motorcycle. Tobias did his best to send Chris packing, but his tenderness captured her. Now Tobias wondered whether there was a bit of the barbarian in everyone...

I've got more books here, so feel free to give me some more pairings. Or tell me how these summaries *points above* would play out. (I don't usually do AU ideas with fictional characters, but I love all AUs that are RPF? I'm weird, idk. That may be why I had a hard time with Beecher/Keller, because their actual story is more than enough for me.)

Comments

[asimplechord.livejournal.com]

Why is DCSE so dumb? I get that they have procedures to follow, but there are so many ways that people get around them.


Unrelated: I posted more hockey rpf over at AO3, and I am seriously wigged out by someone leaving kudos with a username of an actual hockey player. Like, I don't think it's the actual person, but JFC, PICK OUT A FANDOMY NAME, NOT A STALKERY NAME.

[why-me-why-not.livejournal.com]

Idek, it's ridic. But they did say that they'd investigate the pending insurance settlement, so there is that.

Lol, people are so weird! I hate when they do that!